The development task of the second transformation is to no longer meet the requirements and expectations of society, and at the same time to think about what each other wants from work and intimacy, and take this as the goal. I call this task "mutual individuation." Carl Jung was the first psychologist to describe the "individualization process" in which people shape themselves and plan their lives according to their interests and desires.
Jung believed that although banner design individuation is a chaotic process, it has a major impact on the healthy development of the personality. He argues that it is only through this process that we can get rid of what we "should be", become our true selves, and live our own lives. The reason why I call the developmental task of the second transition "mutual individuation" is that to successfully survive this transition, couples must support each other in their pursuit of self, and at the same time re-plan a path based on their interests and desires. And work hand in hand in the same direction.
Many dual-income couples I interviewed found the transition daunting, like Matthew and James, who both managed to escape in the first place. Since both Matthew and James are ambitious people, it feels like a betrayal to pursue themselves, so they are terrified. This explains why we avoid the second shift. Because at least on the surface, the desire to find yourself and live more like yourself seems to be a threat to the relationship.